Your mum’s so fat, she has to iron her skirt on the driveway.
Your mum’s so fat and ugly that when she auditioned for the part of ET, she caused an eclipse by riding her bike in front of the moon.
Your mum’s so ugly, they moved Halloween to her birthday
I met your mum the other day, he’s a good bloke
Your mum’s so ugly, she went to an ugly competition and they said, “sorry no professionals”
Your mum’s so ugly, when she went to a haunted house, she came out with a job application
Your mum’s so stupid, I asked her to buy a colour tv and she said “which colour?”
Your mum’s so old, I told her to act her age and she died
Your mum’s so stupid, she couldn’t tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.